There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
