I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
