I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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