Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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