So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
