so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
