I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
