This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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