Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
