It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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