I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
