I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
