Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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