I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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