were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
