Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
