Screwed.edu
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can't put those talents on a resume
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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