ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
