Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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