kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
