we're blogging at a bar
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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