butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
