Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
