I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
