Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
