He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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