So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
