Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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