Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
