I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
