I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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