foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
