She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
