I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
