Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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