He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want nice things and good sex
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
