Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
