so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
