That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
