College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
