I can tuck mytits in my pants
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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