sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
