Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
