What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
