Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
