direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
