You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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