I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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