so explain again why im purple
no
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
