Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Randomize
