if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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